And Jesus, the only son of God, died on the cross. For me. For you. For all of us. And more.
Holy week has been an ordinary week to me since forever. Aside for some religious traditions, yes, it’s all the same. Of course I know what had happened in that week. I know about the last supper, the betrayal and Jesus’ long and painful journey to death, with all the mocking and unkind gestures along the way. At least that’s how would I describe it because of my limited knowledge about Jesus, about God, and about His overwhelming, immeasurable and unconditional love for me.
I have sinned. And it’s for sure that I would continue doing that. If not fully for my actions but mostly for the way my mind works and my heart beats. I worry about too many things and even the littlest things until I’m exhausted and dead tired to possibly think of anything positive. I am afraid of unseen situations and the future that I bore myself to some routine day to day habit and settled myself to that irrelevant dead end. I’m easily distracted to this fallen world with its fallen players. I have been deceiving myself searching for that missing part of me in wrong places. And this is all because I let myself drive my life well in fact, I do not really know how to do that right.
So I came to this particular Holy Week and all my old concrete personal life plans suddenly shatter.
“Oh God, I want to stay. I do not want to lose this great things that I’m about to receive.”
God loves me. Jesus died for my sins. I don’t have to be guilty all the time that I’m depriving myself of that unfathomable love and of that salvation. He died to make me whole, to fill that missing part. He died so that I can live fully, without the worries, doubts and fears. He wants me to be happy. He wants to give me all the strength and support I need so that I can survive and enjoy this life in this fallen world. He wants me to claim all those great things that He long prepared for me even before I was born. He wants me to know Him and let other people know Him through me. He’s calling me and He wants me to live with Him.
So I realized I only need God, my savior. He’s my best friend that would never ever abandon me.
And so from that day on, I surrender my life to Him. I want to see things through His eyes. I want to love the way He loves me. So I let Him drive. And maybe someday He would teach me how to do it right and also let me drive with His continuous supervision. And He will lead me to that everlasting life.
